Have you ever seen one of those shows on TV where somebody is sent into the wilderness with a minimal set of gear and no food and they’re challenged to last a week? I would simply starve.
Looking through Instagram or Pinterest during the holiday season is like that for me. Especially for Halloween. I see these awesomely cool foods, usually something in the snack or dessert realm and I think, “Well dang Jeff, you could make that.”
If I would just get start posting photos of the thing I’m trying to make as well as the eventual fail of my variation, I could probably go totally viral. Millions of views by people, all laughing their heads off!
When it comes to artistic ability…I’m sorely lacking. I mean that gene bypassed me entirely.
I’m passable at carving pumpkins. With enough time, the correct tools, and a relatively clear (and simple) design I can make a cool jack-o-lantern. At least the kids used to think so when they were little.
But as to foodstuffs…well, I’ve only had a couple of top-shelf moments in my 55 years.
Back in 2008 I made one of the coolest food displays. It used broccoli, eggplant, hard-boiled eggs, and spaghetti. A little bit of green food-coloring rounded out the display. The best part was it used my lack of artistic talent and coupled that with my ability to assemble things…and voilà , for one shining moment I was a Halloween hero.
But for so many other Halloweens I was a dud. A failure. A mere ghost.
So I decided this year will be different. I’ve only got one kiddo living at home, but Hectic Grandson is here after school every day. He’s 4, so this is one of his prime Halloween years. I want to make things memorable for him, or at least a lot of fun.
But how? Indeed…how?
I kept pondering this. On long drives across the Midwest I would think about how to make Halloween special. During the downtime between volleyball games at weekend-long tournaments spooky treats were on my mind. While push mowing our 14 acres I would think about goblins and ghosts and witches and trolls. What foods would they consider fun?
But let’s face it…my lack of creativity was a huge stumbling block.
What does somebody do in that case…go to Pinterest! But I had to be on a specific quest. I couldn’t get caught in the rabbit hole of looking at cool Halloween concoctions. I couldn’t get drawn into Halloween decorations created by people who outdo Martha Stewart.
Nope.
I searched for simple Halloween foods. I narrowed it down to snacks. Anything that took any amount of creativity or aptitude had to be avoided. We’re talking Halloween Food for the Recipe-Challenged.
So folks, I’ve got an awesome Halloween board on Pinterest that has all the standard stuff…most of it is well outside my reach. This is the board that has those things my Dad used to call stretch goals. You know, the stuff that you could possibly create if you put in a lot of time, effort, and (in my case, at least) were possessed by the spirit of someone with creative abilities. It’s a great idea board…but most of what’s on there are things that will never see the light of day at Hectic Manor
On the other hand, my Halloween For Amateurs board is more of a sitting on the couch eating potato chips kind of resource. The kind of board that you look at and know you can create everything. Your version will look like my version. For example, one of my favorites is Ghost Cheese where you use a permanent marker to draw eyes and a nose (on the plastic wrapper…not on the cheese. Geez, we’re not that hopeless, are we?). Or the Witches Broomsticks that are made by shoving pretzel sticks into Reese’s Peanut Butter cups.
That’s the level of easy I’m talking about. Stuff that you can make in no time at all. Treats that you can pull together despite not having any time, talent, or funds. You know, stuff that fits into your hectic life.
Leave the mysteriously smoking fruit punch to that one Mom who always does that kind of crap. Don’t try to compete…it’s just not worth it. Get the kids involved and make some really easy, fun things. And for goodness sakes, if you find something super-easy to make, please share it in the comments or with us on Pinterest. Those of us who are artistically challenged have got to stick together.
Now get out there and make it a great Halloween!