I’ve come to the realization I don’t really know what I’m doing!
On the one hand, it’s funny to say. When I started the Hectic-Kitchen journey, I was really clear about what I wanted to do. I’d spent months pitching the idea to family and close friends. I wrote dozens of pages about my vision. I spent countless hours researching ideas and honing my thoughts. When I finally bit the bullet and launched the website I was ready to go. Full of energy and prepared to conquer the world.
That was way back in November of 2013. And the internet was a vastly different place.
At the time I was new to everything related to blogging. I had learned a little bit by launching Hectic-Dad the prior August. It was my testbed for ideas I was going to use on the business site.
For many months I worked on both sites simultaneously. Content ideas were easy to come by, my main constraint was having enough time available to do everything that I wanted to do. That constraint still lingers today, although I don’t always feel it as sharply as I did back in the early days.
I learned all about WordPress, the plugins that were available, how to configure things, and generally all kinds of geeky stuff. I spent countless hours building a back-end for the sites so I could more easily do work and then have it flow into the websites. I setup Evernote as a repository for all the disparate resources I was collecting. I configured Trello to help me track the work I was doing. I created hundreds of Google Sheets to help with various tasks. I instituted systems and created automations in IFTTT and Zapier to make things easier to do. I learned all about social media from a business perspective and slowly learned how to use it effectively without being a jerk. I learned about blog linkys and how they could get the word out.
And most of all, I’ve learned a lot about myself.
I discovered I don’t really have a “muse”, but I do have an excuse when I don’t feel like creating. I learned that I can write a lot when I want to, but that editing what I’ve written is hard work. And I’ve learned when I really do capture my ideas, lots more flow out of my head. But the amount of time I have hasn’t really increased, so I’ve still got gobs more ideas than I can manage alone. Finally, I’ve met a load of awesome people through my blogging and associated social media and cherish the relationships that I now have.
I’ve also learned to doubt myself. Not in a good way. When I finally decided to create a product for sale, I spent a lot of time talking to people and figuring out what would appeal to a specific segment. I dug deeply into what that target market looked like and had tons of discussions trying to define their problems. Then I put a laser focus on one problem and started developing my Hectic-Meals Subscription Meal Plan. It seemed like the perfect idea for the ideal market, and while it wasn’t the first one out there,
I thought I had a winner.
I labored for months on the setup, creation, and management aspects. I learned about subscription services, loads of tools to assist in the process, and how online payments work. I worked until I was falling asleep at the keyboard, trying to meet a release date that was only known to me…and somewhat arbitrarily set.
Then I launched…and nothing happened. While the launch wasn’t costly in dollars, the devastating effects of having my baby fall flat on its face were enormous. I started searching for what went wrong. Was it the pricing? The content? Did I goof up defining my target market? Had I failed to get my marketing targeted to the right people? Was I doing enough marketing?
I began to question everything. It got to the point where I wondered if I had any idea of what I was doing…or was I better off just crawling back to the tech sector and working a hum-drum nerd job?
I spent weeks wallowing in something bordering on self-pity. And with each passing day the self-doubts rose until they were a crescendo.
I came out the other end and decided that I could craft the underlying information in Hectic-Meals into a series of monthly ebooks that would work for a larger audience. I also edited every component of Hectic-Meals to make it more user-friendly, appealing, and easier to use. I spent weeks on the plan, but I was on an energy high. I had sunk to a low, but was now striding confidently towards a bright new future.
Once again, I had purpose…so the work was easier.
I decided that I needed to be on Amazon to get my ideas (in product form) in front of the largest targeted audience possible. So I spent hours researching how to do that, and learned another half-dozen apps to help me convert my raw data into book form. I learned how to create ebooks in a format that could be used on a Kindle. I set things up so I could also use other platforms in the future (just in case), so I spent dozens of extra hours making things flexible. I also reviewed all the recipes, shopping lists, and meal plans again…winnowing out oddities and trimming anything that wasn’t necessary.
And then I launched my first ebook. A couple of days later I was able to add two more…and I was off to the races on Amazon. At least that’s how I pictured it.
I had spent weeks reading about how to do a launch, how to price the books, and the exact steps to success as outlined by a number of authors.
I ran rotating free promotions. I worked with pricing to try and find the sweet-spot.
During the free promotions a few people would download the books, but not nearly the numbers I was hoping for. Nor the numbers that I needed to rise up in the rankings. I realized I needed to market things better, so I worked every channel that I could think of, digging deep into the ideas that book publishers and successful authors recommended. I created marketing campaigns from scratch, and all sorts of tracking methodologies to see how things were going.
And not much happened.
Sure, I made my first couple of sales and a smattering of sales after that. But nothing close to what I needed to even cover my costs of production.
I grasped at a straw, reformatted all the books, and made them available as paper copies. Close to a hundred hours of work. And then sold just a handful of copies.
I’m not complaining, I’m in a very small segment of the population who’s ever had a book for sale, and an even small segment who has made sales.
But the numbers are nowhere near what I hoped for.
And the self-doubt cycle rose up again. And this time I fell a quite a bit deeper into the pit of despair. I simultaneously realized that my tech skillset was woefully out of date, so even the option of crawling back to the tech sector seemed unlikely. Not only wasn’t I making it as an sole-proprietor (you only get to use that moniker if you’re actually making money, and only with pride if you’re making enough money to cover all your costs and turn a profit), but I didn’t feel like I had any valuable skills for the job market.
Essentially, I felt washed up. And it sucked.
If my life was a movie, this would be the point in the script where there would be a huge turnaround. The great epiphany would happen. The music would rise and the audience would be lifted to heights of excitement as things turned around for the protagonist. An opportunity would present itself and enormous success would meet out hero. Then the music would begin to subdue and I would be seen riding off into the sunset with everything being perfect.
Except this is life. And I’m still in the middle of it. There’s no soundtrack, and frankly very little audience. My family is watching more closely than most, and a few of you are reading this blog. But I’m not coming anywhere near to filling a theater with my blockbuster of a life story. I’m more like a poorly received indie film on a weekend of blockbuster commercial releases. Sure, I have a following, but my picture is going to lose money.
But I’m not willing to just put up The End and roll the credits! I still think I have things to offer that people want to consume…and even pay for. I’m just not sure what.
Over the next few months I’m working on rebuilding both Hectic-Kitchen and Hectic-Dad into websites that appeal to my audience more. I’m also delving into some new opportunities to see how those pan out. I’m focusing, like never before, on my projects…trying to do the right thing (or potentially several right things). And I’m doing all this while still battling my self-doubt.
So keep your eye on this space for lots of new things. Some will work, some will fail. You might love some and hate others. But I’m gonna keep on trying things until something clicks. The only thing I ask of you is to let me know what you like, what you hate, and what’s in between.
I’m hoping that’s not too much to ask…